It seems that I don't get to these until the very end of the week right before the next week's secrets are posted. I did sort of intend to try and do this one earlier, but it didn't happen until now.
"My son's 17 year old friend wants to screw me. I'm a 46 year old woman. I want to screw him too." (over a postcard that says "oh baby, baby" and with an illustration of Britney Spears, which I had to look up to be sure that it was her)
This is also another one of those secrets that very possibly might not end well if it were to actually happen. Maybe at least they should wait until the kid is 18. Even then, not necessarily a good idea... although for some reason this scenario doesn't exactly seem like it's entirely unheard of.
"i still don't know how i feel when i think about the fact that i;m the last person you chose to text before you killed yourself. at first i was horrified, and then in a weird way i was flattered but now i'm angry that you put that pressure on me, that i have to live with for the rest of my life." (typewritten text)
This one is rather dark and depressing. I can imagine that it might be rather... unsettling to be in the situation that this secret-writer is in. I do kind of wonder what the person who died said in the text(s) just prior to their death.
"I'm in my 30's and I induced lactation so I can breastfeed grown men -- It's so intimate and satisfying." (over a grid of photos of women's bare breasts)
This one is bizarre and I can safely say that this is not a thing I'd do myself. I'm not nor do I want to be a milk machine/fountain for various grown men to drink from as they please. I wonder if or how much this woman charges for men to breastfeed from her? You couldn't pay me enough. Well, maybe a few grand per man, and they only get 5 or 10 minutes... yikes, I've just grossed myself out thinking about that entirely theoretical idea. Imagine if men did this in reverse, for women to breastfeed from them...
"When I was little, I thought the 'milk man' was a glass of milk with arms and legs." (over a collage of a glass of milk with little human arms on the sides and legs)
This one is amusing and I like the collage of this person's childhood idea of what a milkman was.
"I took my family on a road trip during covid and now my daughter will have health issues for the rest of her life. It wasn't worth it."
That's quite a lesson to have learned the hard way...
"I tell my friends I do coke because I like the way it feels. I do coke because I like how it feels to be thin."
None of my friends have told me that they do coke. But I guess if they did, I should try and remember to inquire about their reasons for doing it.
"When I'm on a chair lift I look down and guess whether I'd die, live, or break my leg if the chair fell at that exact moment." (over a photo of a ski lift and an arrow pointing to a certain chair labeled "I'd die here")
I like this one because it is rather unique and also has a pleasingly morbid air to it.
"Whenever people ask me for directions I always direct them to a strip club."
I'm really not a fan of maliciously messing with other people like this just for the heck of it. Those people probably would've just liked to know how to get to their intended destination. If I'm going to intentionally make someone's life more difficult or annoy them, it'll be because they deserve it.
"When I am behind a bad driver with disabled plates, I think to myself... driving like that is probably how you got those plates..." (over a photo of the wreckage from a car crash)
Snarky and kind of morbid. I... actually have not thought this about people who drive badly and happen to have disabled license plates.
"I imagine that your long nose hairs are spiders crawling out of your nose" (over a photo/image of a nose with spider legs drawn coming out of the nostrils)
I, for one, am glad that I don't spend enough time looking closely enough at people's noses to notice if they have long spideresque nose hairs or not. Long nose hairs are gross, honestly. Trim them.
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