Postsecret review 24

Saturday night, secret-reviewing time! Just in time before new secrets get posted tomorrow. So here goes.

"Sucking my boobs is not a turn on. GAME OVER" (with a drawing of Mario)

I feel like maybe this would've been more useful to actually tell the person it refers to? Instead of sending it into Postsecret. Communication is everything when it comes to sex and/or relationships. 

"I wish my life insur[ance] paid for my suicide" (written in like stickers or something over dollar bills -- in denominations of 50, 20, 10 and 5: two of each)

This is kind of a depressing secret. Although perhaps there are methods that would make it look enough like an accident so that life insurance would cover it? 

"I owe my wonderful life to a man I don't even know; the man who stole my wife 40 years ago. To you sir, cheers!" 

I wonder if this means the person remained unmarried after the wife was stolen, or if he married someone else/different instead and then had a wonderful life with them? The whole concept of wife-stealing and affairs and all that fascinates me for some reason.

"I am a very talented hacker but I only use my skills to steal family photo's off of stranger's computers" (over a photo of some people, a couple presumably, with a date of 2-15-2006)

This is sort of a bizarre secret. I wonder what this person's motivation is for going after the family photos on strangers' computers -- what do they like about or get out of it?

"The day I found out I passed the bar exam, a little part of me died. And everybody celebrated." (beneath a graduation photo, presumably from law school, of a woman)

The implication I get from this one is that the person perhaps wanted to pursue a different career instead of law, and it makes me wonder what this other thing was that they presumably had to eschew in order to become a lawyer.

"Whenever I spend more than $1000 at a store, I always steal something small, just to get my moneys worth, I think the sales people know most of the time." (over a tag that says Chloe)

Naughty. 

"I work at an adolescent psych hospital... ...and I have feelings for one of my patients."

This seems like the sort of thing that probably wouldn't end well.

"I need these pills to have sex with my wife but not with my boyfriend" (over a label/packaging from Viagra)

Saucy. I wonder how the wife in this scenario feels, and if she knows about the boyfriend or even has any suspicions. Maybe she is disappointed by the fact that her husband needs to us Viagra with her?

"I ride the train because you fall asleep on my shoulder" (over a Northeast Illinios commuter rail ticket)

This is a very sweet and transit-oriented secret.

"I am more comfortable sleeping with strangers than I am touching myself" (over a closeup photo of a person's, perhaps a woman's, collarbone)

I don't really understand how this could be the case/can't relate to this at all. 

"I think if I were less attractive I'd have a better sense of who I really am"

I wonder how attractive one has to be in order for them to feel that it has hindered their sense of who they really are? Maybe it just means that I'm not attractive enough for that to have happened... I guess the implication here is that other people only like the person for their looks and so a large portion of their identity/sense of self is wrapped up in their appearance?

"I put myself thru college by having sex with men that look like [arrow pointing to an old-ish man in a photo] and every time I see one, I still think to myself 'He looks like a trick'"

a) I wonder if this resulted in catching any STDs, although b) I suppose people do what they have to do, and in this case, good for this person for being able to put themselves through college, even if it came by way of prostitution?