Movie review: Brokeback Mountain

I finally watched this movie that I've been wanting to watch for... a couple of years at least? Since whenever I started caring to some extent about watching more of Jake Gyllenhaal's filmography. A couple of days ago I saw that it was going to be on Netflix until the end of the month (May) so I realized I needed to watch it within that time. If it ever previously was on Netflix, I never got around to watching it then.

My thoughts prior to watching it were that a) it's the famous gay cowboy movie and b) I had a feeling it might be kind of sad. Obviously it is indeed a gay cowboy movie, and the second point turned out to be correct as well. I have decided it's fine to cry about sad movies if they're sad enough, but if I start crying too often about stuff in my own life then that might indicate a problem, since I don't want to be a person who cries all the time. I set a (somewhat arbitrary, come to think of it -- I wonder what other people's ideas are about reasonable crying frequency) limit for how often, at most, it seems reasonable to occasionally cry about stuff in my own life, if applicable. Anyways, I digress. 

The movie kept my attention and didn't seem to lag in any portion, even though it's a bit on the longer side at over two hours. So it met or exceeded my expectations and I'd consider watching it again. There have been other famous/notable movies I've watched that were underwhelming, but this one was definitely good. 

I don't think the cinematography stood out as much as it sometimes does in certain other movies, but this movie definitely had a cohesive aesthetic in terms of clothing and set decoration/design and all that visual stuff. Not that the cinematography was bad, it just wasn't something I really noticed that much, aside from a single scene (the opening scene where one character is seen in the distance as a train passes by). 

The closest thing I'd compare it to thematically/etc, at least of movies I've watched, would be Boys Don't Cry, which I don't really want to watch again because it's a sad movie, even though I thought it was quite good. 

Brokeback Mountain seemed balanced in terms of the plot and pacing. The various different tendrils of the plot were effectively developed and were woven together cohesively across the story's time span of two decades. 

I'm glad I finally got around to watching this movie and now I can more fully understand why it's a famous movie. It was certainly better than No Country For Old Men which is also sort of a western-themed movie and somehow inexplicably is generally acclaimed, even though I personally found it boring and pointless, if I recall correctly. 

Postsecret review 31

 Getting another one of these done, finally. And quite late in the week. Here we go: 

"I read his fiance's blog to learn about the life I could have had... I made the right choice!" [over a Disney Cinderella card or something that has a pale monochrome drawing of the prince and princess with the words "Happily Ever After"] I wonder what sort of life this person has that the writer is glad to have avoided.

"Sometimes [even though I am VERY HAPPILY MARRIED]... I walk around naked with the windows open and hope my hot neighbor is watching." [with a drawing of a nude woman as seen from the front] I guess I can kind of understand this, that it could be exciting in a way even if someone had no desire for an affair.

"One month into our relationship I made a Gmail account to write you love letters/I can't wait to give you the account info/the night before our wedding/<3" At first I misunderstood this and thought the writer made an account for themself to write the emails from. Then I realized what made more sense is that they created a new email address to send emails to while writing from their regular email address, and the other person in the relationship only gets to read those emails the night before the wedding. I wonder what ended up being in the emails and if they actually ended up getting married? Also, I personally think a more romantic way of doing this would have been to write actual letters on paper and store them hidden away somewhere, but maybe this person either didn't think of that or has bad handwriting.

"I love drugs. That's why I don't do them. I'd rather have two houses and my dream car than an ADDICTION." What a wise choice! I don't recall noticing that many drug-related secrets recently. 

"I don't want to take my mask off/Does anyone else feel like they aged 100 years in 2020?" [over a photo of a somewhat older woman with a drawing of a mask shape collaged on top of it; the image on the mask is of a wrinkled old person's face] Personally, I can't really relate to feeling like I've aged 100 years in 2020. 

"I see pictures of him and his wife on FB and can only picture him between my legs February 2019" [written in an indecipherable way; there are comments from people who were able to decipher that it was the same sentence written over top of itself multiple times] At first I thought this was about an affair, but on second thought, perhaps it isn't necessarily about an affair and instead is from someone who was involved with this guy prior to his marriage. On the other hand, maybe it is indeed about an affair. 

Another secret written in a somewhat indecipherable way [typed in yellow-green font over an abstract-patterned background; there are also symbols of some sort behind the typed writing]: "If you paid attention you'd know I love you, when we were together I felt truly happy for the first time in my life. Did you ever really care about me. Now I'm miserable. I cry randomly not because I'm sad but because I'm overwhelmed with emotions. It look like goodbye. It coming soon. I wish you the best. I know you actually care about her." Kind of vague and definitely written in a chaotic, somewhat indecipherable manner. Ease of legibility matters, secret writers. The person who wrote this seems like a bit of a mess.

"I divorced him because I caught him cheating. But I cheated first" Secrets about cheating seem to be relatively common. I guess one way of interpreting this one is that upon realizing he cheated (too), the writer figured it was more worthwhile to divorce because they both had cheated on each other, instead of the cheating only being one-sided. Although I don't condone cheating, divorce seems like a reasonable choice in this situation.

"I'm secretly glad you got fired. Seriously, you sucked at your job." This seems like something a lot of people can probably relate to.

"To my fourth generation Harvard family/SORRY! NOT GOING! (P.S. We're not rich any more. Get over it.)" I wonder how this went over with the family? And yet, I can more or less understand the sentiment behindit. I wonder if the writer wanted to go to a different university or just none at all?

"I'm afraid I'll never find love because I'm an intellectual woman." Well, I'd hope this person's fear doesn't come true. 

"i had to have carpal tunnel surgery on my right arm. i told my friends & family that it was from typing incorrectly. ... really, it's because i'm addicted to GUITAR HERO!" [over a photo of a person with their arm in a cast and sling] I wonder how much Guitar Hero one has to play in order to need carpal tunnel surgery?!

"I ogle your penis when you dry your hair after our showers" [next to a drawing of a naked man with a towel over his head drying his hair; obviously the penis is included on this drawing] Honestly, I just find this rather perverted. Yikes. 

"I work as a counselor for people with mental illnesses, and it scares me at how much I can relate to them... I'm afraid of ending up like them..." [over a drawing of a man's face in profile; his face is colored in blue. There are the words "depression" and "panic disorder" over part of the drawing.] I wonder if the writer will end up or already has ended up like the aforementioned people with mental illnesses?

"I am an R.A. at my university. When a student gets locked out, we have to charge the a fee to let them back into their room. Students don't get locked out too often, but when they do...I keep the money." I wonder if the university keeps track of this well enough to realize that money is missing?

"Every day when I get dressed I think to myself, 'Would The Sartorialist photograph me wearing this?" This is not a thought I have ever had when getting dressed for the day. Mostly I just try to dress in a way that is comfortable and presentable at the minimum level of formality acceptable for a given situation. 

"Ever since we started getting married and buying houses, my girlfriends and I don't laugh much anymore. We mostly just complain." Maybe marriage wasn't such a good idea, in that case.

Movie review: Promising Young Woman

I ended up deciding to watch this movie tonight. It felt relatively succinct, as in it didn't drag, but it was a satisfying watch that packed a punch. Aesthetically, the movie had a bit of a saccharine flavor to it (notably in the costume design for the main character), which I'm interpreting as an intentional stylistic choice for the sake of narrative. While it did feel like a pretty succinct movie, I didn't think that there were plot points that were severely underdeveloped -- everything was filled out enough to make sense.

Towards the end, there was a scene that resembled one in The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, the English version of which is one of my favorite movies (and books). How I would summarize the point of the movie (PYW), in part, is that it's about men being trash. I don't think I've watched a movie quite like this one before, one that approaches the subject of men being trash in this way.  

I've had a long-standing taste for thrillers, and this one is a slightly different shade on that palette. I think the last movie I watched was Get Out, and this one seemed vaguely similar to that, in a way. 

Without wanting to spoil the movie too much, the basic premise at the outset is that a woman tricks men into taking her home from bars (by pretending to be very drunk) as a form of revenge. It does make me wonder how that might go if someone (perhaps even myself) were to try doing something like that in real life. Or maybe someone already has actually tried that in real life? 

This movie is an Oscar contender, which is kind of interesting -- also interestingly, somehow to me it doesn't necessarily seem award-worthy. I think maybe that's because when I think award-worthy, I envision a movie that's perhaps a little deeper and/or more intense, more spectacular somehow. This one wasn't entirely shallow and does well for what it is, but there are probably certain parts or places where it could've been deeper. Definitely a perfectly good movie, but for some reason not quite excellent, in my mind. At some point it might be interesting to dig deeper into the themes and ideas presented in this movie, but not right now (guilt, revenge, youthful innocence, etc.). Further reading from NPR that gets a bit more into an analysis of that sort of thing (note, major spoilers present)

This is, I think, the second movie I've watched that stars Carey Mulligan. The previous one was An Education, which also starred Peter Sarsgaard (ah). I think I found An Education a little underwhelming, but stemming from the plot/script being lacking rather than the actors' performances being bad. There is a third movie with Carey Mulligan, Wildlife, which I think also has Jake Gyllenhaal in it. That's also on my future watchlist, at some point. And someday I should watch Brokeback Mountain, I suppose. I'm a bit all over the place in the movies I end up watching, but there is an appeal to me to watch additional work of a given actor (or director, in some cases) if I've enjoyed something I previously saw them in. 

Postsecret review 30

The weekend secret review. I guess I don't really try that much to get these done earlier in the week. There's a pretty decent number of secrets this time that I found interesting enough in some way or another to comment on.

"I daydream that my ex will rescue me from my current relationship" 

I wonder about how people end up finding themselves in unsavory relationships, since it doesn't seem like something that I would stand for happening to myself, nor have I really had any personal experiences like that.

"I'm A Progressive Who Is Livid That Federal Prisoners In My State Are Getting the Vaccine Before My Family Can."

This is, in a way, somewhat understandable, although it does make sense for prisoners to be vaccinated soon(er) since they have to live in rather crowded conditions and breathe others' air. Prisoners are people too. And you can write to them.

"I still have the red lipstick I bought when we were together. (I wear it when I think of you...)" [with a lipstick kiss print, presumably in the lipstick mentioned in the secret]

This is a sentimental one and something that I can sort of see myself doing if I typically wore lipstick (which I don't). But I do occasionally dress like people I have positive opinions of, so I guess that's kind of similar. 

"There is definitely a WRONG way to load dishes into the dishwasher. In fact, very few ways are right. It disturbs me how serious I am about things like this."

The correct way of loading a dishwasher is perhaps a bit subjective, but some dishwashers have better interior racks than others. I think that utensils should go in the basket with the handles up so that when you go to remove them and put them away, you don't touch the clean part that you eat with. 

"My secret guilty pleasure is sushi. (I've been vegetarian since seventh grade) Sorry!" (over a postcard that shows a man riding a fish in a lake, that also says "Here's the fish I promised you.")

I guess it depends on one's definition of vegetarian, but at least some definitions may encompass eating fish, perhaps. 

"I found a dead spider in my pubic hair." This is frightening. How did it get there? Were they out camping or did this occur while indoors?

"I think GOD makes my period late, just to watch me squirm." (written over the packaging/label of Plan B)

There is such a thing as birth control pills (along with other contraceptive methods), although perhaps this person uses them but still worries that they didn't work properly. Or maybe they don't use any contraceptive methods and therefore do have good reason to worry about potentially being pregnant?

"I'm a college senior and love that my grandma still sends me cute birthday cards. What I love more, though, is that she still has my grandpa's name on her return labels. He died about three years ago. I hope when I'm gone one day, my 90-year-old widow will still love me that much!" (over a birthday card for a grandson and with the aforementioned return label, but with the last name and address crossed out except for the city and state, which says [illegible] OH)

I like that this one is quite specific, even if it is also somewhat mundane. Return labels usually come in large amounts/sheets, so I suppose if someone has a lot of them and doesn't send much mail, it would be quite reasonable to still have some with a dead spouse's name on them three years later. 

"They should be every woman's SECRET weapon. But for me... they are just a SECRET. " (captioning a drawing of two breasts, seen from the side. One is labeled "yours" and depicts a rather rounded, average size with a small areola, while the other is labeled "mine" and shows a smaller and very pointed breast with a larger areola)

It's too bad this woman feels insecure about her breasts. It makes me glad that I'm not generally insecure about my body. 

"I am going to inherit millions of dollars. Sometimes I wish I didn't know."

I wonder more specifically about why this person has ambivalent (evidently) feelings about their ample inheritance. Why would they prefer not to know about it?

"I want to go back to being one, but I am not willing to sacrifice my child's happiness for my dream." (beneath a photo of firefighters at a fire)

This is interesting and gets at the concept of sacrificing things for children rather than sacrificing a child's happiness, which I can't specifically recall having seen mentioned in a secret before, although there have been numerous other secrets more generally related to parenting and children. 

"Four years ago, when I was 12, my dad committed suicide. Everytime I yell at my mom, I am afraid I will cause her to do the same."

This one is rather grim. 

"Were you afraid to tell your friends that you were dating a fat girl?" (in a collage of photos of thin women but with the outline of a fat one drawn in marker)

I guess this isn't exactly a secret, come to think of it. It's actually a question, but perhaps the writer never actually asked the person referred to in the secret this, thus making the question a secret of sorts? I assume the writer is the fat girl. 

"My biggest fear isn't being raped... ... or killed... It's of me falling down the stairs." (over a photo of stairs)

This isn't exactly a big fear of mine, but sometimes I worry that there'll be someone hiding in the bathtub behind the shower curtain.

"I am a lesbian because it's the closest I can get to being a *gay boy* (it feels like a cause)"

This is an unusual secret, to say the least, and it certainly would be interesting to get a bit more elaboration on this. Personally, I don't think someone's sexuality really has a reason (like this one or otherwise) behind it, it's just something that... is. Innate. Imagine a secret that said something like "I'm straight because nearly everyone else is"... that would be kind of ridiculous, eh? 

"Sometimes I let it go to message on purpose. I can't bear the SADNESS in your voice. Come home safe." (over a photo of military soldiers in phone booths)

On the flip side of this, I feel like the person might regret this if perhaps the implied soldier was (gravely?) injured or killed and the writer had inadvertently passed up on an opportunity to talk to them one last time (or at least last before they were able to recover, assuming they weren't completely killed). I also wonder if there are people who regret joining/being in the military because (in part, at least) of the sadness it causes them regarding missing their loved ones? The whole concept of people regretting being in the military is interesting to me, although that doesn't seem to be a particularly common mainstream narrative. 

Postsecret review 29

I contemplated getting to this earlier in the week, but that didn't end up actually happening. So here we are. Also, I'm aware that it's probably mostly pointless to write these because I doubt anyone reads them, yet I still feel compelled enough to spout off my thoughts about (some of) the various secrets each week. 

"my mother doesn't speak to me because i threatened to call the 'intervention' show on her hording of 46 cats in her house." [over a photo of like 15 cats inside a house somewhere]

This one is one of the more unique ones, I think. The whole situation with the hoarding of 46 cats is rather singular.

"I was having sex with my coworker when my husband texted happy valentines day" [over what appears to be a valentine card like the sort children exchange with classmates in elementary school; the "happy valentines day" text is part of the card although I assume it is also meant to be part of the secret]

As you know, the secrets that have to do with affairs are interesting to me. I wonder if the person who wrote this secret has any regrets about the affair they're partaking in? Or maybe they are shamelessly and gleefully enjoying the affair.

"I used to think everyone could see my thoughts in a bubble over my head." [in a thought bubble over a drawing of a person] 

I wonder at what age a child might think this (or at least I assume that this occurred when the person was a child).

"I think our couple's therapist has a crush on us... Somehow it doesn't feel weird at all!"

I wonder how common this is. And how this person who wrote the secret can tell (or at least why they assume so) that the therapist has a crush on them.

"To the man who held my hand & made sure my son was okay when I totalled my car 9 years ago, I'm sorry I didn't ask your name, But I will never forget your kindness." [over a card that says thanks]

I like this secret because of this rather poignant moment of kindness it portrays. 

"A few years ago my husband celebrated his 25th year of teaching. After touching the lives of hundreds of students not one RSVP'd to his surprise party. We had to cancel. He never knew it. He loves his job. I hate it."

I wonder why none of the students wanted to come to the surprise party. This is somewhat of an interesting scenario. 

"If a patient is rude to me or mean to his family, I used the largest gauge needle I have to inject him. If a patient is nice, I use a baby needle."

This seems... unethical.

"I wonder if I will ever get over the loss of my friend? He didn't die. My husband told him to never contact me again." 

It seems that secrets often leave me with additional questions because they don't include suffcient detail. In this case, the question is why the husband never wants the friend to contact the spouse again. Perhaps the husband is worried that the friend wants/is trying to have an affair with the spouse? Who knows.

"my downstairs neighbor and i have screaming matches to see who's the loudest during sex. i usually win."

I wonder what the other neighbors think. This seems sort of... inconsiderate, to say the least. And tacky. Although maybe they live in a duplex and therefore are each other's only immediate neighbors sharing a floor/ceiling.

"I want to be skinny... but I am far too lazy."

I can relate to this. Probably many people can relate to this. Wanting to lose weight but being too lazy to actually put in the effort to make it happen...

"I was off my meds when I broke up with you. I had to go back on them to live with what I'd done" [over a photo of hands holding pills in them]

Makes me wonder what kinds of meds they were/are, and also more of the context surrounding this breakup. I guess perhaps it was so bad that there was no chance of them getting back together??

Valentines Postsecret review 28

This week, the secrets are generally Valentine-themed. And what a surprise, I'm getting quite the a [I began writing this post on Sunday] head start on reviewing them (mostly or at least partly as a way of avoiding doing other things, but in any case)...

"I am in love with her/She will unintentionally break my heart./But I can't turn off this feeling.//Even though I know it won't ever be returned,/And even though I know I will get hurt,/Loving her is the best thing that's ever happened to me./No amount of heartache could ever make me regret this feeling."

This doesn't seem like the healthiest relationship, but what do I know... I mean, I guess love isn't always the most rational of motivations, but still. Maybe the person who wrote this is a decently normal and acceptable person, but I also get a slight sense that they could perhaps be a little bit of a creep. It just seems like a slightly obsessive way of writing about someone in the secret. 

"I have hidden gumdrops in the glove box of my car. I'm 66."

I can understand this (there's no age limit on enjoying candy), although I wonder about the climate that this person lives in. If it gets too warm, the gumdrops might melt (hopefully they're in a container?). 

"When you're hot, everyone tells you that being a good person is enough, that someone will love you for who you are/It's the cruelest lie I have ever been told."

Interestingly, this is not the only secret I can recall seeing that had to do with a supposedly-attractive person complaining about the downsides of being "too" good-looking. I wonder how good-looking one has to be in order to have these sorts of problems? Does the fact that I haven't had these problems mean that I'm not good-looking? (I think a fair opinion of myself is that I'm at least average-looking and not horrifically ugly) 

"I am equally excited + terrified to learn who I am without you" 

This one is relatively short and simple although I like the feeling it conveys; it seemed like something a bit different than usual.

"My boyfriend started sleeping with his wife again./Happy Valentines Day" (on a Pantone color card, number 493, which is a shade of pink)

The whole concept of people having affairs and such is one that I find sort of fascinating for some reason, which is why this secret caught my eye. I wonder if the secret means the affair is coming to an end, or if now the guy is going to sleep with his wife while still continuing the affair?

"i wish you still loved me the way you did when we drove down this road in montauk" (over a photo of what is presumably the road mentioned in the secret)

This one has that vague and sort of wistful A Softer World feeling to it that occasionally comes up in these secrets. 

"NO one SENDS you FLOWERS when You are Crazy!"

I wonder if this is a secret referring to the personal experience of the person who wrote it (as in, they are crazy and no one sends them flowers) or if it's supposed to be in reference to other people who are crazy and therefore won't be sent flowers... it's ambiguous. 

in the form of a memo: "Company Name Here/Memo/To: I'm just the receptionist./From: Your family owns the company./CC: I could have any number of better jobs with my MBA and $100,000 college education./Date: But I stay.../Re: because of how you smile at me every morning when you come in the door./Message: I secretly love you." With an additional comment added beneath: "In regards to the love lorn receptionist who stays in her job because of the guy's smile. I recently quit a position because I made a pro and con list after I was offered a new job. I realized that her smile was the only pro item I cared about on my list."

Like I mentioned in a comment on a previous secret, I guess love isn't always the most rational of motivations. I feel like if I were actually in a relationship with someone and that precluded finding a better job for some reason (would have to move away? etc) then maybe I would remain in the lesser job, but just being secretly in love with someone whose family owns the company while I'm a receptionist... not so compelling, for me. I wonder how many other people work in jobs that they only stay in because they're secretly in love with someone else at the workplace... maybe more than I might think? 

"I wanted her so bad, until I saw her feet. Sorry." (with a drawing of ugly feet and hairy legs)

This reminds me of that one Seinfeld episode where there's a woman who has "man hands," which Jerry doesn't find appealing. Actually, apparently this occurs in multiple episodes.

"I gave my boyfriend a shoebox and asked him to decorate it so that when I broke up with him the next month I would have something to store his knicknacks in" (around a photo of a shoe)

This seems rather cold and calculating. And kind of twisted in a weird way too. Not something I would do.

"I wear [obscured] my right hand around my PARENTS... he's not my boyfriend... he's my fiance." (over a photo of a ring on a left hand)

I wonder why the parents would perhaps not approve of this person's fiance. Maybe they're a gay couple? 

"I graduated from High School in 1967. So did the girl I love, she never knew. Now, 2 marriages, 1 war, and 40 years later, I can honestly say: 'There has not been a day in the last 40 years, that I have not thought of her with love and regret.'"

This sounds... rough. 

"I still don't believe you love me." (written on a Tiffany & Co. receipt for a "Diamond by the Yard pendant" which cost $17300 plus tax for a total of $18748.88)

I really wonder how rich these people are. And why the secret writer still doesn't believe the other person loves her, even in light of this very extravagant purchase/gift. 

"I was going to tell you/but then you left" (over a photo of a train at an outdoor station)

presumably the thing that was going to be said (but wasn't actually said) was related to love. I wonder what happened to these people? Did the secret writer ever end up telling the person whatever it was at some point in the future?

"I Don't Tell HIM But Flowers Are A WASTE" 

Maybe this actually would be a good thing to share with the him referenced in this secret. Communication is everything, people. 

"it's too soon, and you aren't going to ask. but, for the record, I would say, 'yes.'" (over an interesting illustration of two vultures next to the carcass of a bear; one vulture has the bear's heart in its beak, dripping with blood)

I thought the illustration was interesting. 

Postsecret review 27

 kinda late on this one again... *sigh* But anyways, here goes.

"I haven't had physical touch in a while, so I've been booking dentist appointments. I fantasize about my dentist during procedures." (over an image that appears to be from the angle of inside a mouth, with dentists visible in the background outside of the mouth)

This... is not the method I'd choose of trying to get some physical touch. That is what professional cuddling services are for. Or find a relationship? Hire a prostitute? Get a massage or get one's hair done? A manicure or pedicure, even? Also, I feel like dentist appointments are more of an occasional thing and it might be odd to schedule too many of them in short succession? Maybe this person's teeth are messed up enough that it's warranted though and they actually need more and more procedures to be done. I would also think this might get sort of expensive, so perhaps they're rich and/or have good dental insurance...  

"I reported ppl I used to do living history with to the FBI bc they were at the insurrection" (surrounding an illustration of a bunny holding a flower in a cute style)

J wonder what it's like to do living history and then also what it's like to do it with people who later end up participating in an insurrection... 

"For the first time in my life (40 years old) I'm excited about the things I want to do and NOT anxious about things I think I should be doing"

This is a good and more uplifting secret, interestingly. I guess it's perhaps a bit unfortunate that it took this person so long to be excited about the things they want to do, but at least they got to that point eventually?

"Secretly, I love getting them tightened because the pain is so AROUSING!" (over a photo of someone getting braces adjusted)

I'm including this one in the review because it relates thematically to a prior secret. I sort of wonder if this person gets into any BDSM stuff, seeing as apparently they find pain arousing (but does that apply only to teeth pain or pain in general anywhere on the body?). 

"For our sanity - we've nicknamed all of our daycare children..." (on a pink background over a series of smile stickers which are labeled with the nicknames, such as: Duh!, Baby Duh!, Lesbo, Gus, F.J. [Fat Joe], Screamer, snot-boy, L.B. {Little Bastard})

This is... different. Although I suppose I can understand it, sort of. Presumably they don't actually call the children these names to their faces, but who knows...

"I spend a lot of time making my boring life look exciting on Facebook" (over an illustration of some people at a party or something, with the words "for her new and hot fiction" collaged over it)

It is interesting to me how this secret demonstrates a bit of self-awareness, although not to the point of this person deciding to stop trying to portray their boring life as exciting on Facebook. 

"When I fight with my Marine Corps father... I feel like describing all the gay sex I've had." 

I wonder how that would transpire, if the secret writer did end up describing all that during a fight with their father...

"on career day I wanted to dress as a circus performer. mom sent me to school with a briefcase. i was 8." (over a drawing of a circus performer standing on the back of a horse)

I wonder if the person continued to want to become a circus performer later in life, or if it was merely a childhood desire? 

"I keep these MENSA puzzle cards in plain view when I host parties so my guests will not assume I am thick simply because I never finished university" (over I guess what are some of the puzzle cards in question)

This person seems a bit insecure based on the fact that they do this thing with the puzzle cards. I wonder if they can actually solve the puzzle cards or not? 

That's the end of my commentary for this batch of secrets... new ones will be up tomorrow, but who knows when I'll get around to reviewing those! I've never actually sent in a secret myself, although a few times I did contemplate it, but ultimately decided not to. 

Postsecret review 26

 Getting this one done a little earlier than usual...

"I hate that I know what your wife likes in bed. Even more, I hate that we like the same things. So when you're doing them to me, I can't help but imagine you doing them to her." (over a photo of a blindfolded woman with a finger to her lips)

Oh fun, another secret that has to do with affairs. I am wondering about how the writer found out what the wife likes in bed, whether this was from talking to the wife (maybe they're friends?) or the husband talking about what his wife likes... 

"Antique furniture scares me" (over a torn out image depicting various antique furniture arranged in a grid)

I really wonder why exactly it scares them, yet at the same time, somehow I can kind of understand this...

"I keep hoping I'll see my brother in law in one of these images so I can turn him in and give my sister a second chance" (over a photo of the Capitol insurrection rioters)

This one is kind of interesting because it provides a small look into some more individual/personal dynamics of this situation. I wonder if the writer did end up seeing their brother in law in a photo and turning him in?

"today i realized i could no longer remember what you were like when you still loved me" 

This one, aesthetically and thematically, is vaguely reminiscent of A Softer World, so that's what I find interesting about it. I also sort of like how it is a bit melancholy.  

"When you are being unreasonable, I put you on mute and scream obscenities at you" (over a photo of a man holding a telephone and screaming with an angry expression on his face)

While I can see how this would be cathartic, it also seems like it could potentially go wrong if the phone happened to actually not be on mute while the obscenity-screaming took place...

A selection of secrets, while not inherently that interesting to me by themselves, are slightly more interesting when looked at together:

"After my son was born I secretly wished he would die so I could have my life back / Now I would give my life so he could live / I never knew I could love someone so much" (over an image of a newborn baby in the hospital) / "I'm afraid that I won't be strong enough to raise my son to be the man that his father failed to be." 

It is interesting to me how these secrets both have to do with reflections on parenting. The first one is a positive reflection, that the writer ended up loving their son more than they expected even though they initially secretly wished the son would die. The second one is more of a worry about the writer's ability to be a good parent to their son. There were a couple of other secrets about parenting as well: "I could of been a father... but I was to scared" / "He still loves us, even after I told him it wasn't his..."

"I have always wanted an Afro" / "I feel like I have to work harder to look pretty because my hair is curly" / "I feel like the people that see me with straight hair see a fake me" 

These all have to do with hair texture, curly hair in particular. It seems that all the people who wrote these secrets have some hangups about their hair texture... (particularly the last two, perhaps not necessarily the first one as much)

Postsecret review 25

It seems that I don't get to these until the very end of the week right before the next week's secrets are posted. I did sort of intend to try and do this one earlier, but it didn't happen until now.

"My son's 17 year old friend wants to screw me. I'm a 46 year old woman. I want to screw him too." (over a postcard that says "oh baby, baby" and with an illustration of Britney Spears, which I had to look up to be sure that it was her)

This is also another one of those secrets that very possibly might not end well if it were to actually happen. Maybe at least they should wait until the kid is 18. Even then, not necessarily a good idea... although for some reason this scenario doesn't exactly seem like it's entirely unheard of.  

"i still don't know how i feel when i think about the fact that i;m the last person you chose to text before you killed yourself. at first i was horrified, and then in a weird way i was flattered but now i'm angry that you put that pressure on me, that i have to live with for the rest of my life." (typewritten text)

This one is rather dark and depressing. I can imagine that it might be rather... unsettling to be in the situation that this secret-writer is in. I do kind of wonder what the person who died said in the text(s) just prior to their death.   

"I'm in my 30's and I induced lactation so I can breastfeed grown men -- It's so intimate and satisfying." (over a grid of photos of women's bare breasts)

This one is bizarre and I can safely say that this is not a thing I'd do myself. I'm not nor do I want to be a milk machine/fountain for various grown men to drink from as they please. I wonder if or how much this woman charges for men to breastfeed from her? You couldn't pay me enough. Well, maybe a few grand per man, and they only get 5 or 10 minutes... yikes, I've just grossed myself out thinking about that entirely theoretical idea. Imagine if men did this in reverse, for women to breastfeed from them...   

"When I was little, I thought the 'milk man' was a glass of milk with arms and legs." (over a collage of a glass of milk with little human arms on the sides and legs)

This one is amusing and I like the collage of this person's childhood idea of what a milkman was.

"I took my family on a road trip during covid and now my daughter will have health issues for the rest of her life. It wasn't worth it." 

That's quite a lesson to have learned the hard way...

"I tell my friends I do coke because I like the way it feels. I do coke because I like how it feels to be thin."

None of my friends have told me that they do coke. But I guess if they did, I should try and remember to inquire about their reasons for doing it. 

"When I'm on a chair lift I look down and guess whether I'd die, live, or break my leg if the chair fell at that exact moment." (over a photo of a ski lift and an arrow pointing to a certain chair labeled "I'd die here")

I like this one because it is rather unique and also has a pleasingly morbid air to it.

"Whenever people ask me for directions I always direct them to a strip club." 

I'm really not a fan of maliciously messing with other people like this just for the heck of it. Those people probably would've just liked to know how to get to their intended destination. If I'm going to intentionally make someone's life more difficult or annoy them, it'll be because they deserve it. 

"When I am behind a bad driver with disabled plates, I think to myself... driving like that is probably how you got those plates..." (over a photo of the wreckage from a car crash)

Snarky and kind of morbid. I... actually have not thought this about people who drive badly and happen to have disabled license plates.

"I imagine that your long nose hairs are spiders crawling out of your nose" (over a photo/image of a nose with spider legs drawn coming out of the nostrils)

I, for one, am glad that I don't spend enough time looking closely enough at people's noses to notice if they have long spideresque nose hairs or not. Long nose hairs are gross, honestly. Trim them. 

Postsecret review 24

Saturday night, secret-reviewing time! Just in time before new secrets get posted tomorrow. So here goes.

"Sucking my boobs is not a turn on. GAME OVER" (with a drawing of Mario)

I feel like maybe this would've been more useful to actually tell the person it refers to? Instead of sending it into Postsecret. Communication is everything when it comes to sex and/or relationships. 

"I wish my life insur[ance] paid for my suicide" (written in like stickers or something over dollar bills -- in denominations of 50, 20, 10 and 5: two of each)

This is kind of a depressing secret. Although perhaps there are methods that would make it look enough like an accident so that life insurance would cover it? 

"I owe my wonderful life to a man I don't even know; the man who stole my wife 40 years ago. To you sir, cheers!" 

I wonder if this means the person remained unmarried after the wife was stolen, or if he married someone else/different instead and then had a wonderful life with them? The whole concept of wife-stealing and affairs and all that fascinates me for some reason.

"I am a very talented hacker but I only use my skills to steal family photo's off of stranger's computers" (over a photo of some people, a couple presumably, with a date of 2-15-2006)

This is sort of a bizarre secret. I wonder what this person's motivation is for going after the family photos on strangers' computers -- what do they like about or get out of it?

"The day I found out I passed the bar exam, a little part of me died. And everybody celebrated." (beneath a graduation photo, presumably from law school, of a woman)

The implication I get from this one is that the person perhaps wanted to pursue a different career instead of law, and it makes me wonder what this other thing was that they presumably had to eschew in order to become a lawyer.

"Whenever I spend more than $1000 at a store, I always steal something small, just to get my moneys worth, I think the sales people know most of the time." (over a tag that says Chloe)

Naughty. 

"I work at an adolescent psych hospital... ...and I have feelings for one of my patients."

This seems like the sort of thing that probably wouldn't end well.

"I need these pills to have sex with my wife but not with my boyfriend" (over a label/packaging from Viagra)

Saucy. I wonder how the wife in this scenario feels, and if she knows about the boyfriend or even has any suspicions. Maybe she is disappointed by the fact that her husband needs to us Viagra with her?

"I ride the train because you fall asleep on my shoulder" (over a Northeast Illinios commuter rail ticket)

This is a very sweet and transit-oriented secret.

"I am more comfortable sleeping with strangers than I am touching myself" (over a closeup photo of a person's, perhaps a woman's, collarbone)

I don't really understand how this could be the case/can't relate to this at all. 

"I think if I were less attractive I'd have a better sense of who I really am"

I wonder how attractive one has to be in order for them to feel that it has hindered their sense of who they really are? Maybe it just means that I'm not attractive enough for that to have happened... I guess the implication here is that other people only like the person for their looks and so a large portion of their identity/sense of self is wrapped up in their appearance?

"I put myself thru college by having sex with men that look like [arrow pointing to an old-ish man in a photo] and every time I see one, I still think to myself 'He looks like a trick'"

a) I wonder if this resulted in catching any STDs, although b) I suppose people do what they have to do, and in this case, good for this person for being able to put themselves through college, even if it came by way of prostitution?