The Law and Order Candidate: a satirical short story (Introduction)

What if Donald Trump were arrested by detectives from the Law and Order shows? This satirical short story explores that idea. 

You, the reader, will probably get more out of this story if you are familiar with the shows Law and Order SVU and Law and Order CI. In a typical episode of a Law and Order show, a crime is committed, an investigation ensues, the criminal(s) is/are arrested, they are interrogated, then prosecuted in a trial by the District Attorney. Each episode of a Law and Order show begins with a short narrated introduction statement. Kind of like how it is in the show Arrested Development.
For those of you who are not familiar with the Law and Order shows, a brief introduction to the characters you will see in this story:
Detectives Elliot Stabler (left) and Olivia Benson (right), from Law and Order SVU (Special Victims Unit - investigates sex crimes)

 Elliot is known to have anger management issues. See here. 
"In the criminal justice system, sexually based offenses are considered especially heinous. The dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies are members of an elite squad known as the Special Victims Unit. These are their stories." 

Detectives Robert (Bobby) Goren and Alexandra (Alex) Eames, from Law and Order Criminal Intent (my personal favorite), a more psychological take on the Law and Order formula. 

Goren is sort of a Sherlock-esque character and, continuing the Sherlock comparison, Eames is more like Watson. Goren is also 6'4" and likes to psychologically intimidate people (mainly the criminals). 
"In New York City's war on crime, the worst criminal offenders are pursued by the detectives of the Major Case Squad. These are their stories." 

No characters from the original Law and Order are present in this story, but here is the introductory narration anyways. "In the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate, yet equally important groups. The police, who investigate crime, and the district attorneys who prosecute the offenders. These are their stories."   

I consider this story to be satire, but some may consider it to simply be a bad fanfiction. Regardless, I hope you are amused at least a little bit. 

For reference, here is what Vincent D'Onofrio's (actor who played Detective Goren) hands look like:

This is the little leaning thing he does. It's a quirk of the character. 

And here is what Donald Trump's hands look like: