My (Rachel, a future staving linguist and/or journalist) personal blog and part-time unofficial Peter Sarsgaard fansite. This is a blog about, really, a ton of random ramblings of mine. This blog's posts usually cover "a... unique topic" according to one reader.. Maybe it's more of an online journal of mine. Sometimes I write about music, movies, and tv, in addition to whatever else comes to mind that I deem worthy to write about. Have fun (hopefully) reading it!
Tuesday, December 27, 2016
On morbid subject matters
On this subject, Intervention is a show of the kind that's morbidly fascinating. Its subject matter is the unfortunate one of drug addiction, which some people do not find appealing to watch about, but I for one, do. In addition I find the various Law and Order shows which are about crimes such as murder and rape to be enjoyable to watch. I think in part it's because the shows are focused on the detectives who are trying to solve the crime and the DAs who are seeking justice and that's a good thing - these people are working to solve crimes and make their (fictional) world a better place. By this theory, shows that have the protagonist as a criminal of some kind should not be appealing but there are a few decently well known shows that are like this - Hannibal, for example, which is about a serial killer who also happens to be a cannibal. Dexter, Breaking Bad, etc. So it begs the question why people enjoy a show like that, because it seems antithetical that you would be rooting for, in a way, a criminal of some kind. I think most would consider cannibalism to be a depraved act. (I also like the word depraved. There's one episode of Law and Order where Goren uses that word when he's talking to a serial killer.) So why would people (I include myself in this, at least a little, because even though I didn't watch a lot of Hannibal, I did watch a small amount of it and thought it was at least somewhat interesting) find a show about something like that to be a show that they'd want to watch? I think it's possible that other people have written about that kind of thing and perhaps even made some theories about it but I'll have to look it up.
My final thought on this subject is that perhaps exposing myself to this kind of content makes me more prepared (as in, less likely to become particularly unnerved, or something like that - to deal with things better, is maybe a better way to put it??) for when unfortunate things happen in the real world. Maybe. It's just a theory that might not be correct. Perhaps others would call it "desensitization." I know there are articles about what playing violent videogames and watching violent tv shows purportedly does to oneself.
(and boy, I am really pumping out the blog posts today!)
Columbo and Goren
Another thing that I noticed in this first episode is that Columbo (purposefully/intentionally, presumably) seemed to come across as not quite as sharp, which I'm not sure if I liked because it seemed like he did it too convincingly and came across as truly clueless, rather than it being intentional in order to play a suspect into his hands which is what we see Goren doing on multiple occasions. Maybe it's just because that was the first episode and I don't have an acute sense of what the character is supposed to be like the way I do with Goren since I have watched so much of him.
Among other things, Goren
After a long drought, I finally got to watch an old episode of Law and Order. It was lovely. The second (or third, or fourth, etc) time around you can focus on the little details more. And those can be the best part. Goren's left handedness, that one blue mechanical pencil, his nice hands and gestures, all of it. That was just what I needed after the morning's experience of watching Saving Private Ryan. It was a good movie but not in the happy fun kind of way.
I rewatched the very first episode of the first season. In it, one of the characters (a guest star) looked a lot like one of the characters in Requiem for a Dream but I checked and it wasn't the same actress. I thought it might have been though. In this episode, Goren wears a watch (on his right wrist, since he's left handed [that's what I do as well, otherwise it interferes when you write]) which he doesn't really do past the first few episodes I think. There's also a part when he's interrogating (ah) someone and his sleeves are rolled up, which is unusual for him but a characteristic of Elliot in SVU. Perhaps they were trying to allude to that. I will always wonder (like about the legs) about the props person who procured that blue mechanical pencil (which is a model that I procured for myself as well, just to have the same kind of pencil as Goren used - throughout the entire series)... I wonder if it was a preference of Vincent's because he thought ink pens would smear, being left handed or was it just something that the props department picked up without a second thought - as long as it writes, it works kind of mentality? Regardless, I admire the consistency of him using that same mechanical pencil throughout the series. It's not my personal favorite model, but I do like the side-advance style which is a feature on my personal favorite mechanical pencil, which also happens to be the Pentel brand which is the brand that Goren's blue mechanical pencil is. If you would like to buy either my favorite kind of mechanical pencil (my specific pencil is green and blue and .7 mm lead thickness, sans the removable eraser because I use a larger rectangular eraser) or the one that Goren uses (I wonder what lead thickness he preferred)*, I've linked to the Pentel website. I have also used the same kind of mechanical pencil for at least 3 years (maybe even before that) which is not as long as Goren did but still a decent amount of time and the one that I have used for so long definitely has sentimental value and I would be rather unhappy if I somehow happened to lose it. Thankfully that has not happened yet. This is an inferior poor man's version of Pentel's side advance mechanical pencils. Don't settle for a pencil like that one.
[While poking around on the Pentel website for the links there, I thought about my favorite writing utensil brands - Pentel for mechanical pencils, Staedtler (it's German) and Sharpie for markers, and if I used colorful gel pens more often, Gelly Roll. I do use writing utensils of other brands but I don't have a particular affinity for them.]
*according to Pentel's website, they only make the pencil in blue for the .5 mm and .7 mm models, not the .9 mm one. Assuming this is the way it was in the early 2000s, we can deduce that Goren used .5 mm or .7 mm lead because his pencil was blue. Also, according to the website, that is the very first model of side advance mechanical pencil that they made, and a customer review mentions that they used that same pencil way back in 1981. Also, from reading other reviews, it seems like other people too have the same sentimental feelings towards their preferred mechanical pencils.
It was a pleasant enjoyable experience to watch Goren again and think about all those little things that I like about that character. I think a few nights ago I had a dream which I don't remember a ton about, but I think I was in a parking garage with someone/some people (police officers, I think they might have been? And I was with them) and I was telling them how Goren is my favorite character, and I think perhaps he was even there too, in the garage but at a bit of a distance. I wonder if I'll ever encounter someone similar to that - an intelligent, perceptive, worldly NYPD detective like him. I do wonder. Does someone like that indeed exist in the real world?
In any case, that's enough fawning for now and I think the proper course of action now is to watch something with James D'Arcy in it so I can fawn over him too.
I also think I might be good at being a set decorator because I have great attention to detail.
Also, I have gotten an idea - if in any other tv show or movie I happen to notice that a specific writing utensil is used, I'll try to make note of it. Maybe I will even apply this to other people that I encounter - a record of all the writing utensils I encounter over the course of some amount of time... that actually sounds interesting.
Movie review: Saving Private Ryan
The beginning of the movie comprises a scene where soldiers are landing on a beach in France (presumably Normandy or something) during World War II. This part seems to last a long time which probably was on purpose to convey the fact that it also probably felt like an eternity to the soldiers who were there. There was also shaky camerawork here which was effective at conveying the certain sense of chaos that pervaded that occasion. The same shaky camerawork occurs in other action packed parts of the movie as well. There was a lot of carnage in this movie, definitely. Lots of people getting blown up and pieces of people getting blown off and blood spurting, etc. I wonder what goes into filming a war movie like this one to portray extreme violence and bloodshed without actually injuring or killing anyone. It must have been quite an undertaking. I was put off a bit definitely by all the carnage that filled this film and it made me realize that I like my death and destruction on an up close and personal level, rather than indiscriminate carnage - ie, Requiem for a Dream focuses on a few central characters about the topic of drug addiction.
Since the movie took place during WWII in France, there was a part where the captain, played by Tom Hanks (who looked rather young in this movie, but I guess that makes sense because it was made in the 90s.) was looking for a soldier who could translate between French, German and English for the titular mission of saving Private Ryan. It made me worry somewhat that some day I will be in a war and have to do that, although given the growing diversity of the US (which Trump would like to put a stop to) by the time I am theoretically in a war perhaps there will be native speakers available. At the moment, the only language I can be useful in is Spanish so if we ever have a war with Mexico or Spain or another Latin American country, then I'll worry about having to be a military translator. At the moment, the majority of wars have occurred in the Middle East and I don't know any Middle Eastern langauges like Arabic or Farsi or Urdu, so at present I would not be of use in any current military operations that are going on. But the theoretical possibility remains and it was not something that I had thought about until watching this movie, Which brings us to the subject of the soldier who happens to know French and German (with a slight Bavarian accent, according to him) and gets taken along with the captain on the search for the eponymous (I like that word) Private Ryan. His name was Upham and he was sort of naive and clumsy but to me it was endearing and the character was totally a Ben Whishaw type of character. I definitely could see Ben Whishaw as being in that role. Colin Morgan would work too; they both have the British and delicate woodland creature-esque appearance (as in, pale-ish skin tone, light eyes, slender figures, delicate facial appearance) that fits that role quite well. I wished for that character particularly not to get killed because he was endearing and reminded me of a role that Ben Whishaw might play. I wonder what actor that was - I'll have to look it up. I feel like his character, fragile as he was. definitely ended up with some kind of PTSD (which they probably did not know how to treat very well back then and even today the military is not really dealing with that in the most effective way so back then it must have been even worse) and was thrust into the hell of that after the war in addition to having to endure the horror(s - "The horror! The horror!") of war (assuming he didn't get killed later in the war), the poor dear.
This movie had some elements that reminded me of Full Metal Jacket. And some that reminded me of Apocalypse Now. I feel like maybe Full Metal Jacket has grown on me - at the very least it definitely has stuck with me. These three movies have different premises but they're all war movies. If I had to rank them, Apocalypse Now would be last and Saving Private Ryan would sort of edge out Full Metal Jacket. The element that reminded me of Apocalypse Now is the searching element - in Apocalypse Now they are going down a river in Vietnam in search of the man who later says "The horror! The horror!" and in Saving Private Ryan, the title pretty much says it all. The various scenes where soldiers in the group searching for Private Ryan got killed reminded me of scenes in Full Metal Jacket when soldiers got killed. Also there was the omnipresent rattling noises that war movies have - it's all the equipment that the soldiers are carrying around rattling as they move. I can't be the only person to have noticed that. If I had to be in a war, I think I would wish to be a sniper. I think the precision aspect of it is what appeals to me. There was a sniper in this movie who sort of reminded me (appearance-wise) of the German football player (or rather, Fußballspieler) Bastian Schweinsteiger who played for Bayern München. This movie also made me wish that I knew/were able to continue learning more German, even though WWII was against the Nazis and they were German, Today, the vast majority of Germans are not Nazis so as a country they have moved on from that. I wonder what it would be like to live in socialist (compared to the US) Europe, possibly in Germany or even Sweden. [that was a tangent]
From the first minutes of this movie (which was a frame story! Like The Catcher in the Rye and that's the only other example that comes to mind right now) which were rife with carnage, the message seemed to be that war is bad. (Requiem for a Dream - drugs are bad. Just think about how that movie ended up) Taken as a whole, there possibly is some other message present in Saving Private Ryan, perhaps something about brotherhood in the military but I don't know. I haven't given a deeper analysis of it much more thought. Matt Damon (as Private Ryan) had a facial cut in this movie, just one which surprised me a little bit because it being during a war I would have thought his face might have gotten a little more roughed up. In any case, the facial cut was about one inch long, not particularly severe, horizontal and slightly off center on his forehead. Not the most typical location for facial cuts, as evidenced in my last post. (I won't lie - I have been toying with the idea of self inflicting some strategically placed facial cuts on myself just to see how they would look. I feel like that would be easier and much more realistic than trying to make it look like I have facial cuts with makeup. The only thing holding me back is that it would probably be a little painful at least and also I would not like to have permanent facial scars from when I did an experiment with self inflicting facial cuts for aesthetic reasons. Although, in that one episode (1.12 "Seizure" if I'm correct) of Law and Order, Goren sliced open his hand with the pocket knife that he carries to prove a point about a suspect. Presumably they did not actually have Vincent cut open his hand (in the scene, the palm of his hand that he cuts is facing away from the camera as he slices it) but the concept still stands. And since I love detail, they were good about continuity with that because later in the episode he has a band-aid on his palm where he sliced it open. (who ever imagined that someone would feel compelled to write that much about one little minor thing that happens in an episode of Law and Order? The answer is, I would. I would feel compelled to write that.)
This movie made me wonder (this kind of goes along with the plot of Born on the 4th of July) if people who willingly enlisted in the military and then saw combat thought that their experience in the military was a positive one or a negative one. Or rather, were they (mentally) scarred by the horror(s) of war? Did it change their view on war in general and being in the military? I don't know anyone who has done this so I can't ask but it would be interesting to know. Because Saving Private Ryan was quite effective at depicting the horrors of war (Full Metal Jacket did this pretty well too, Apocalypse Now less so even though that kind of was supposed to be the point of it, hence the famous lines that I actually happened to write down on my English folder in addition to some other choice literary quotes and such). In Born on the 4th of July, Tom Cruise's character is quite eager to enlist and fight in Vietnam but what he witnesses/what happens there causes him to become an anti war activist. (he gets his back blown open and is left paralyzed) I guess it could depend on the particular nature of the experience, but I wonder about it. Certainly it's possible that some people in combat see less violence than others. How do they deal with it? (I'm sure there's stuff online about that kind of thing but I'm just thinking out loud here) Also, I think that being a police captain is a much more cushy job than being a military captain in WWII. The fictional Law and Order police captains (the ones I'm thinking about are Cragen [SVU] and Deakins [CI] who were good leaders and got along with the detectives under their command, unlike a later captain who was in CI) didn't get shot at on the regular. Even the detectives didn't, which is kind of interesting to think about. I think that it says that I like violence (that sounds kinda weird but bear with me) but only to a certain degree - the potential of violence (which is sometimes realized but not to a fatal extent, at least not to the main characters [them being the detectives in Law and Order]) but not severe indiscriminate carnage like in the movie, like I said earlier. I also wonder if the movie was based on a true story - I'll have to look that up too. It kind of reminded me of the book All Quiet on the Western Front, which was a good book that I read in the 10th grade for English. It was a powerful anti-war statement. The central theme of that book was that the characters featured in it were just dragged into the war (and were senselessly killed) and it was out of their control; they were fighting not because of any personal strong sense of patriotism, but because they had to. This idea does not necessarily transpose into the modern day American military because the military now is completely comprised of volunteers, but it was still a powerful message. I wonder if we'll ever have a draft again, in which case the message in AQOTWF could apply more aptly. If we do, all men between the ages of 18 and 25 must sign up or otherwise they may be fined (I don't remember the amount) or I think maybe even imprisoned. There are flyers that say this in the local post office and probably in your local post office too. Go see for yourself! If we do for whatever reason have a draft again, I would be sad if probably the only reader of this blog because I impose it on him got drafted and possibly killed in a war. If that happened, I would become an anti war protester like the hippies were for the Vietnam War. Thinking about the various war related things I've consumed, the conclusion that can be drawn from all of them is that war is bad, folks. In addition to the possibility of having a draft again, I wonder if world peace is really possible (certainly it would be ideal, but is it ever going to happen?). Which in turn is making me think of hippie anti-war music from the 60s like John Lennon's song Imagine and other songs like Blowing in the Wind and such. Ooh. Which in turn is making me think of more modern anti war music, like the song Soldier's Poem by Muse. It's a nice little song and not what you might expect (music wise) from Muse. And perhaps to some extent American Idiot can be put into this category as well, and Violet Hill by Coldplay. Ah. And the German 80s song 99 (neunundneunzig) Luftballons - which I know the words to in German which is a fact that I'm proud of that I can enjoy foreign music which some people (like my mother) cannot enjoy because they complain that they don't know what it means because it's in German (or some other language) and therefore don't like it.
Somewhat ironically this movie has kind of whetted my appetite to watch a series that James D'Arcy was in back in 2003. In that series, he played a British soldier (a pilot, maybe? I don't really remember) who was captured during WWII and was in a German POW camp and then escaped. I think there were 6 episodes or so, and I never watched the last two because it was a very suspenseful show and I just couldn't take it. But now I kind of want to watch it again all the way through. It was good, from what I remember, and also (shallowness alert) James D'Arcy looked good in it. Ah. He looked good. Very much so. James D'Arcy, everyone. My favorite actor. Still looks good after all these years. /shallowness
If I were to recast this movie with other (primarily British/European) actors, I would cast Daniel Craig in Tom Hanks' role and Ben Whishaw as the translator (or Colin Morgan, either one would work). For Private Ryan... James D'Arcy perhaps. I wanted to put him in there somewhere. Interestingly enough, around the same time that Saving Private Ryan was made. these three actors were in a war movie of their own, along with Cillian Murphy (pronounced with a hard c, like catastrophe, not like cereal). It was called The Trench and I watched it a couple years ago because it had these actors in it (sound familiar??). I barely remember anything at all that happened in it. It was set during WWI and mostly took place in the eponymous trench - they were all soldiers and Daniel Craig was superior to the other soldiers. The only thing I remember about the plot is there was one scene where Daniel Craig's character is sitting down and contemplating a jar of jam, which presumably his wife sent him. That's the only thing I remember of the plot. And also the end where they all emerge from the trench and charge towards the other trench and presumably all get killed.
A look at heart rate data from fitbit tells me that my heart rate went up (no surprises there) during the last 20 minutes or so of the film to 70 bpm and above, up to 82 at the highest. My usual resting heart rate is under 65, so there is hard evidence that this movie had an effect on me. [I started watching the movie around quarter past 7 in the morning and finished just a little before 10 am]
So, in conclusion, this is another war movie under my belt and I'm not sure if there are any others in the genre that I'd like to watch, Perhaps one that's set in a more recent war, but even then, I don't really think war movies are my thing. Again, I like my death and destruction up close and personal. Also, I was reading about forensic linguistics yesterday and I realized that with this post which I've spent over an hour writing, I'm giving the forensic linguists a lot of material to work with should they ever need to ascertain authorship of a writing to yours truly.
Also, regarding war movies and how I said I probably wasn't going to watch any more after seeing Apocalypse Now, but that I'd give this one a chance because it's said to be very good, I don't regret having watched it. It certainly was better than Apocalypse Now.
Monday, December 26, 2016
Facial cuts analysis
Sunday, December 25, 2016
Movie review: Requiem for a Dream
It was different and I'm not sure what I was expecting other than the fact that I knew it was a movie about drug addicts. I thought it was a good movie and not a waste of time so at least it was better than Apocalypse Now. It had Jared Leto in it as one of the main characters and he looked rather young and pale and sallow. I always thought this movie had an interesting title - the word 'requiem' is cool and unusual and then coupled with the word 'dream' gives the title an air of... dreaminess. I also liked the title of the movie Dream with the Fishes.
I liked the color in it - the colors and the cinematography were nice; the overall visual style/appearance of it I thought was pleasing. It was kind of bright in some scenes, and I can't really say there's a certain color palette for this movie like there is with the American version of The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, but nevertheless the colors and appearance of this movie were nice.
In terms of content, we hit on all the various morbid topics that apparently fascinate me most. Drug addicts/addiction! Also a little bit of electroshock therapy in one scene and various other similar things... there was also an orgy in one scene which I don't find as fascinating as drug addiction, among other things.
I thought the ending was sort of anticlimactic in a way, although on the other hand, it was fitting and perhaps the movie didn't exactly have the most linear, straightforward plot but it was still good and some movies are like that, to varying degrees of success.
I'm glad that I finally got to see this movie because again, it had been one that I had wanted to see for quite a while. It was a little bit trippy in some ways but not overly so and overall a good movie. I wrote all this before reading what other people have said about the movie so the above is just my untainted thoughts. And now I will go on to read some stuff about the movie and see if I missed anything or if other people have any insights about it to offer.
I found something that claims it is #9 of the most disturbing movies. Personally, I'm not sure I'd say it was disturbing, but it was interesting. Also, after having watched it, I understand why there's an eyeball on the movie poster (no eye gouging in this movie, though)
The definition of 'requiem' is: (especially in the Roman Catholic Church) a Mass for the repose of the souls of the dead.
- a musical composition setting parts of a requiem Mass, or of a similar character.
- an act or token of remembrance. (I assume this is the meaning used for the title of the movie)
and: here is a page with some trivia about the movie
edit: I found an article in the Guardian where the author of the original book explains how he got inspired to write it. I like things like that. It's why I make the effort to explain (over explain?) the things I come up with on this blog rather than just leaving people to wonder since I wouldn't want to be left wondering. I also liked the note at the end of it: "Hubert Selby Jr does not use apostrophes." (he doesnt. Maybe one day I should try that.)
Wednesday, December 21, 2016
If
If I happened to encounter eyelashes guy in public (it could theoretically possibly happen although it is unlikely but not completely impossible) here is a selection of things I think I would feel compelled to say to him. I'm aware that these would probably be weird things to say to him to at least some degree but regardless:
"I see you on tv, on CNN, and your eyelashes are magnificent. Wow, really, they're so long and luscious. You should get an award for best eyelashes. I noticed you on tv only because of your eyelashes but then that intrigued me so I decided to look more into your political opinion journalism and came to realize that you're intelligent and have things to say that are worth considering even though I'm not a conservative. I just really like your eyelashes. They're just great and spectacular. (Ad infinitum.)"
Again, like with previous posts on this subject, I really hope the topic of this post never comes across it or any of the previous ones. I would be aghast if he happened to read these things which I do realize are... out there. But imagine if theoretically he did somehow find my posts and read them and kept up with my blog to see if I'd written more about him. Yikes. That possibility is not something I want to become reality.
Someday perhaps I will find a new thing or person to frequently occupy my thoughts but currently that person is eyelashes guy, hence all these endless ridiculous posts about him. I realize how... it's kind of a weird thing to be so... concerned with a political commentator who happens to have really nice eyelashes. But alas. That's how it is. In any case, the positive side of this is that I have become at least somewhat more open minded and have willfully exposed myself to differing opinions than my own, which I admittedly did not really do in the past.